Mom BACK in the hospital.

Take it from me - you can drive yourself nuts thinking and trying to do what other people think you should do, or dealing with other people's selfishness and giving up on certain aspects of taking care of yourself to please them.

I've been through it - I cannot help Vince and taking him into my house would kill me. He's one of those people who think money and help just fall from the sky into his lap without thinking where it comes from. He lost his shoes a few months ago and told my sister that he needs a new pair of shoes. The guy wears size 14 shoes and without asking or thinking, he just told my sister he needs a new pair of shoes and he expaects them to fall from the sky - perfect size and all. She bought them and he'll probably lose them, too. If he were to be released from the nursing home, he would be homeless. I can't give him money at the peril of my own financial security because there isn't enough money in the world to give him.

This sounds really, really horrible and I hope you all don't think we are terrible people but we just keep sending him junk food because the nursing home doesn't feed him enough and if he stays fat, he stays in the nursing home. I know how absolutely horrible that sounds but the alternative really is much worse.

My stepmother is another one - we don't have a relationship anymore because she's a selfish bitch. She always has been. And after my dad died, I could not play the game with her anymore of feeling like I needed to kiss her ass. She has said the reason we don't have a relationship anymore is because I'm ungrateful for everything she sacrificed for our family to take on the care of five kids. Excuse me - she married my dad for his money and nothing else and she took care of her two kids and couldn't wait for us to get out and stay out. She thinks she's so smart because she thinks she fooled everyone but she never fooled me. She was in it for her and nothing more.

Sometimes you just have to sit back and hope for the best.

Think about it this way, if they were children, you could force them to do certain things but as adults, it's out of your hands.

You do your best, whatever that may be and never feel guilty. Never.